Sour moods

Yesterday my mind was in such turmoil. I was facing such a emotional upheaval, that I couldn’t either sleep or watch TV or do nothing. I went back to my world of books and music. With Ronan Keating and Blue at the background I took my copy of “Gentle Warrior” by “Julie Garwood” to read. Even Julie Garwood couldn’t bring it back to control. I resorted to my final way of bringing it out. I wrote my new song “Don’t walk away”. It’s still in the draft form and one of the darkest songs I have written. I just wanted to write it so that I can find peace in it. Well! I did find peace after a struggle of 5 hours I went to sleep at 5 am today morning. And then it starts all over again slept late and late to office too.

Tell you what . . . these are one of the very few times I feel the need to let myself go and depend on someone and forget about everything else. But I rode the night out with what I can do myself in the confines of four walls. I honestly don’t care about all the practical reasons why you should marry, but this is the only reason I can think the reason for tying the knot. But this is truly a day dream for me for undisclosed reasons. I don’t wanna end this up sarcastically. But a man crazy about music, loves books and interested to travel to places where Mother Nature is in her utmost beauty is welcome in my life. (He he I know such a man doesn’t exist.)

And coming back to my original topic, I still feel a emotional upheaval. I honestly dunno why. Is my instincts working overtime or is something really going to happen or am I just feeling lonely. I gotta wait to know that. But I know a positive outcome of all this. There are going to be some new songs written. Well! That’s my only way out of all this.

My birthday wash

He he . . . Sorry But again its Rock On!! I never been affected by a movie so much or able to relate it to my life. Watching a movie consecutively for three weeks . . . This is the first time in 26 years. Every movie I have watched and been my favorite has started to bore me the second time but am still ready to watch it the fourth time too . . . But not this week probably the next week.

I was thinking about my birthday bash I had in August . . . Know what? it was a birthday wash not a birthday bash. Everyone found one work or the other they had that day. The only good thing that happened was Rock on!! that was released on Aug 29.

Gifts!!!! My dad gifted me a IPOD Nano and my mom and dad together gifted me a saree. And there were other dolls by my friends. Honestly, I don’t understand what happened to them. Dolls for me? Even my team members gifted me the same. I have one on my bed too. My ever practical Nishath gifted me a cotton top to use with my new Jean. The best part is I got myself a Giordano Tshirt, Lee skinny Jean, Raw Hide High heal sandal, and topped it with a Estelle costume jewellery set. Finally I had reduced my weight enough to wear them and even look good in it. Ohhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! I loved it.

And on the day my dinner plan was spoilt coz’ my lead decided a meeting cant go without me and was held up in office until 10:30 pm to present three incident details. What can get worse than that. I had worn a saree to office and every one was surprised to see me coz’ everyone had decided I was every inch a city gal. I let them think what ever they want. He he . . Who wants to keep explaining? The truth is am lazy to wake up early and wear a saree, even though I love wearing it and I know I look gud in it. Hey u gotta accept, wearing a jean and Tshirt is lot easier than wearing a saree. And Oh! Let me tell u a secret: I am really very very lazy and every inch a small town gal from Nagercoil, Kanyakumari. But they need not know that . . . Do they?

And again am out of the topic. . . We were talking about my Birthday Wash. After my B’day dinner being spoilt I had planned for going to Rock on!! with my friends followed by dinner. The movie was good and that made the best start for a day out with my friends. But it was just me with my other 3 friends. Even for dinner many didn’t bother to come. My dear friend Moumita was with me the whole day and I was feeling great that at least she was with me that day. By the end she was feeling a bit ill when we had out dinner at Cascade in Besant Nagar. But still she was not ready to end the fun. She still stayed on with me. Moumi, dear you made my day special. Dinner was great. My college friend Nawin joined me for dinner. Food was exceptionally good. Cascade always provides the best. After dinner we split for the night. Moumi was staying with me for the night and we had a time of the night chatting about work, marriage and other stuff. I am eager for another night like that. Well! It was not a failure but a disappointment since Nishath didn’t join me the whole day and Benitta was with me for only half the movie.

But know what I have decided no more birthday treats and plans. I will travel home and be with my parents and we will have the best time in the world. Not one more like this one.

Blogging again and Rock on

Hey Guys . . .Am back to blogging again. Am going thro' a dry period now due to some personal issues. But I've decided to bounce back again.

The reason is something I watched and is still watching whenever I can . . . The movie "Rock On!!" is that. So a small review is here . . .

* Warning - This is my first review since I don't write reviews. But this is a exception.

I was waiting for the movie to be released for nearly 2 months since the day I listened to the track "Rock On". It was the main reason I wanted to watch the movie but it is not the reason am watching it again and again. Every time I watch it it strikes a chord in me.
Farhan(Aditya), Arjun(Joe), Luke(Rob) and Purab(KD) are the members of the rock band "Majik" and are the heros in the movie. Well!! One cant choose one member to be the hero of the movie. Each member is a very different personality and that is the trait which ties Majik together when they started and that is the one which brings Majik together after 10 years.
Its not easy when you get to live your dream only to lose it. And every character has expressed it very well. Aditya as a person who has locked him within himself, Joe as a person who is depressed and lost hope, Rob as a person who is trying to cling on to a hope of living it again and KD as a person who has left fate has its way. All four has lived the characters.
But its Joe and Rob who attract me in this movie. Even though they couldn't reach their dream, they have taken music to be their life. Rob in the scene when all the members except himself is in a very tense mood before the first performance in "Channel V Launch Pad" (He actually smiles looking at everyone trying to vent it out) and Joe in the climax when he lets go of his wife's hand and joins the band for the song "Sindbad the sailor" does a lot to the movie. Aditya and KD has done well but its the other two who is the backbone of the movie as well as the band.
Something has to be said about the ladies too . . . Prachi desai as sakshi(Aditya's wife), Shabana Goswami as Debbie(Joe's wife) has done well. Sakshi trying to bring happiness to Aditya's life and Debbie trying to prevent Joe getting more depressed if this attempt fails, brings a more in depth look for the movie. But one this I feel out of box is Aditya running off after the rift between himself and Joe and also dumping his GF Tanya (Nicolette Bird) and Tanya marrying the guy who i feel here is a rival to Majik. But the rest of the movie is so good that this doesn't matter at all.
Hats off to Abishek Kapoor and team. . . especially to Shankar, Ehsaan and Loy.

Info about my poems

When you all read ma poems and lyrics, only very few understand my seriousness with which I write my lyrics. Guys, I wanna be a lyricist . . .Thats my dream, passion and everything.

Many ppl who read it(around 95%), think and ask me, who do you love or who made you write all these poems. Am not one of such person, to fall in love and then keep writing about all my feelings. I might fall in love, but I will make sure ,my life is not so sad as I write in my poems.

I write most of my poems after reading some romantic books. There are authors who write romance books so emotional, so that when you read them you are in tears. These books help me write my lyrics, since the core in my poems and lyrics are feelings.

And to those who still think, "Nope! I dont believe in what she says. She is in love in someone, thats why is writing so emotional"(I have heard ppl telling me so. They wudnt believe me even if I swear.) . . . My answer is "Please Please Please Please Please Please Go ahead and keep thinking so. coz' those who believe me and trust me is all who matters to me."

My Family

Finally ME

Me along with ma Parents


Me and ma Best Friend Nishu

DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HOUSE AND HOME

Apr 9, 2007: Didnt get time to post it. . . so posting it now. . .

I just returned from my home . . . Nope not from Besant Nagar but from Nagercoil. I have been in chennai for nearly 3 years and in the present house for nearly 1 years and 6 months. Yet why am I not able to call it a  home. I have always wondered whats the difference between a House and Home. For 21 years I had been with my parents and I clearly didnt know anything different. I was always surrounded with love.

I am now typing this one and half hours before I start for chennai and I am trying to get my mind together for working. I always think how great would it be to return to someone you love and care for after you work. May be thats why I dont feel like leaving office every night . . . I dont wanna return to a house . . . I wanna come home. I have longed this for 3 years. . . Every thing doesnt go your way.

I now remember the moment I got a information from my Placement Officer that my offer letter had arrived and am supposed to go to chennai in 2 days. I was in a phone booth in tirunelveli after my eye check up and I just cried then and there. I well knew my life's gonna change the way I dont want it to . . . But am happy I was able to keep myself in check . . . I do what I feel like doing and am what I feel like being.

I am now writing this from home with my mom and dad near me. When I write next I will be alone. :(((((((((((((((((((((((((((

Back Home

Apr 7, 2007: I am posting it now . . . coz' I didnt have time then.

I have come home to my parents for Easter. I feel refreshed and energetic. Its raining here rather heavily. I have chosen a baby pink color saree for wearing on easter day. I think that color suits me. I got couple of WESTLIFE DVDs a week back. I never got time to watch it fully and clearly. I am watching it rather frequently here. They are so good, cant really get bored. Well! My Bro does stare at me irritatedly . . .but I wudnt give up.

My Bro' getting angry . . . .He is not like me . . .rather like my mom. . . I live with music like the air I breathe. It helps me live in happiness and be a optimist. To the point why my Bro' angry is he wud have listened to their songs atleast 3 times a day and me more. I wud watch it again and again to admire MF alone . . . May be I should write a post seperately for him alone. I want to write a poem when am here . . . but I am not able to . . . am too realxed for that.

I love the climate here . . . I feel its so romantic.